A Closer Look At Italy

It’s been a long time since I’ve written but so much has happened in the meantime! The rest of our stay in Acquaviva was filled with amazing God times. People opened up as we walked around town and prayed for them as we felt led. Before I came here, I never would have thought that any country in Europe needed missionaries. During our prep we heard that Europe is becoming the new “dark continent” spiritually. Now that I’m here, I can attest that this is absolutely 100% true. Just walking around, there is a spiritually heaviness that you can almost taste... The big strong holds here in Milan are depression and loneliness. In a city of over 4.3 million people, that’s kind of hard to believe. But aloneness and loneliness are different things. Because of the spiritual darkness and oppression there is a strong presence of loneliness, which does not need to have solitude to affect a person.

I would especially like to ask for prayer support (continued after we leave), for the YWAMers who are here full time and the other missionaries here in the city. There is a couple (and their children) in particular, local Italians who did their DTS in England, who are standing alone with just two other staff and trying to do ministry in their entire region of the city. Four people, a city of 4.3 million people. And the true believers can be numbered on your hands. To say that Europe needs missionaries is an understatement; to say that Italy needs missionaries is a cry for a help. There is also a couple who have started a church nearby, the wife is Swiss and the husband was born in Spain to missionary parents from Michigan, and they are here raising their family in Italian schools and serving God. The great thing about these two couples is how much they support each other; two different missions organizations, working together for the common good of the Kingdom.

Even if you haven’t been praying for me, I ask that you pray for these two couples. My team is here to support them by manpower, extra prayer support, easing their ministerial burden temporarily, and forging the way in new ministries they want to be starting. We are here to help them as much as possible and encourage them in their work here. To be a missionary in Italy (and in many places in Europe as I understand it), you have to be willing to invest years. Unlike other places where you go in, build a house, teach a bit and see conversions, Italy takes years and years just to start a church. Luigi and Paola, the Italian couple, have grown up here in Milan and been serving God here for years. Keith and Debbie, the Spanish-born and Swiss couple, have lived here for 5 years. Last year they were finally able to open their church. How many missionaries would get burned out and leave before then? God has gifted these people with His determination to see the Kingdom come on earth and the endurance to run the long race. So please, keep these people in your prayers. I promise you that prayers are very powerful.

On the train ride up here to Milan (7 and a half hours, by the way, and we got to see the entire Italian countryside from the sea to the mountains!), I was thinking over everything that God has been doing in my life. Last year around this time, I was still hopeless. A picture perfect rebel, I did everything I could to demonstrate how angry and hurt I was while at the same time pushing any help away. A few months later is when things started to change. But at this time I was still doing drugs, taking pills, and drinking. My attitude was “hell if I care” and my faith was universalism. Nothing mattered, all roads led to the same place, and there was no reason to try. Since YWAM has been involved in my life, hope has gradually returned. A passion has been stirred in me again and I actually use it. There’s growth and lessons learned in a safe environment. I think sometimes we forget how much we need a safe environment to properly heal. For me, I wouldn’t have been able to come as far as I have if I didn’t have that guarding. And still, it’s difficult for me to trust and open up. But the fact is, I try.

I try. How simple is that? Yet last year, there was no energy in me. Half the time when people talked to me, I didn’t even care. It took so much effort to even listen to them and half way through the conversation, I wanted to scream that I didn’t care. When I went to Belize, God started pushing my buttons. God started convicting me of apathy. And since coming to San Francisco, I want to do everything possible to change. If there’s a lesson, I want to learn it. If there’s an opportunity, I want to take it! And I’ve finally learned how to receive correction. I actually welcome it. Instead of being independent as we’re taught to be in Western society, I’m interdependent on God and the community He’s led me to. When I was depressed, I often felt guilty that I wanted just anybody to share everything with but had nobody that I thought I could trust. After all, I’m supposed to be growing into an adult and learning independence right? However since coming to DTS, I’ve learned not only how unbiblical independence is but also how unhealthy it is! And I love the new knowledge.

One last thing, an important lesson (as a former rebel) that I’ve been learning here in Italy is surrender and trust with leadership. I’ve never trusted government (always corrupt, right?) or any kind of leadership, so at first I was bucking at every turn. But there was God, that quite familiar voice in my head that was nudging me to release control. And I’ve experienced how true freedom feels. Not anarchic freedom, but the freedom that comes from a peaceful trust and faith in leadership. And I thank God for the awesome leaders that I have here who have helped make this possible!

Jason, Justine, Bre, Joelle, and Ikaika: you guys are the best!