Milan and Ministry Update

Wow. I’d like to take a moment and just think about everything that has happened lately, but since you don’t know I’ll first have to tell you!

So what has happened? The day after I wrote my last post, we had our first English Class in the park with Paola (YWAMer here). The kids were so eager and excited to learn any new words we taught them, and even the way they played spoke of the influence Paola has had in teaching them through games. Throughout all the games, when it was someone’s turn then they got the ball. No question. After watching normal kids play and the bickering and arguing that usually occurs, we were amazed with how well these kids preferred each other! “And he said: ‘I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the Kingdom of heaven.’”...

Last week, we spent every morning prepping and every evening working a kids’ program in a local park similar to a Vacation Bible School. We did puppets, face painting, balloons, songs, crafts- all the good stuff. It was so amazing to hear the parents asking why we were there, why everything was free, and if we would be there tomorrow! I was doing face painting and the kids would line from the moment we got there to the minute we left to get butterflies, Spiderman, flowers, and Batman all over their faces and even arms. A few would keep coming back again and again for just one more and they always left with huge dreamy smiles on their faces. Here in Italy, not many parents play with their children. When you walk past a playground, you’ll see all the kids playing and all the parents waiting for them to finish. But with our crafts, the kids needed help and it was great to see the parents get done and help their children create the various toys we had for them. And you could tell the parents were actually enjoying it! To bring those parents and children closer was well worth the sweat, hours practicing, and mosquito bites.

Sunday we had the morning off to give our moms a call and wish them happy mother’s day, which was much appreciated. We’ve now been on DTS exactly 4 months and sometimes homesickness hits hard. Monday we set off for a local town called Casorate, where there is a church that the two local YWAMers are a part of. A previous DTS also worked closely with the Casorate church. We will be going back to stay for about a week but this was just a two-day trip to clean up the landscape around the church before a gospel concert is held there on Monday. The first morning was a brutal awakening, after so much of children’s programs and prayers, the manual labor was definitely different. It was a nice cool day though, not too hot, and with so many hands we got a lot done. In the afternoon we walked all over town and passed out flyers for the gospel concert and stuck them in hundreds of mailboxes (which isn’t illegal over here). The next morning it was yard work again and with an even cooler day and a resolve to finish well, we got the entire thing done with surprising speed! I’m so proud of team, many of whom aren’t used to working outside, and I’d be willing to subject them to hell week (aka a work team in hot Jamaica building houses!). In the afternoon we cleaned up the church and headed back “home” to the YWAM base in Milan.

Which brings me up to date; today is our off day and it has been mostly catching up with the outside world. Two of my teammates and I also volunteered to clean the church we were working with last week, which allowed me to go out and see this gorgeous day for a few hours. After all the freezing cold spring we felt in Acquaviva (that we were completely unprepared for), it makes us all so grateful for the warm days and sunshine we have here! Some prayer requests I have is for the strength and endurance of my team. With just one month left in Italy and only 2 weeks after that in DTS, people are starting to talk about going home and what their plans are after and everything they want to do at home. I’m excited as well but I hope that my excitement to get home doesn’t take away from my present ministry. Going frequently from one country to another and in between “homes”, I know only too well how much joy it can take from one place by wishing you were in the other... So in that, I just want to ask that yall be praying that we’re able to stay focused and energized for our remaining time! :)

Speaking of going back, it’s hard to believe that time has flown so quickly and I’m even thinking of going back to Texas already! My plans are definitely not set in stone but I’ve been praying very hard about a couple options. Some in Texas and some in other countries; we’ll see which one God sheds more light on. At the moment, I’m not telling too many details to too many people because I really don’t like being fickle and changing plans constantly. At the moment, I will say that my two biggest options are staying in Weatherford or doing a secondary school with YWAM. So I could use prayer for that as well.

Back to our time here, we have two more weeks in Milan and then two weeks in Rome and back to San Francisco for me!

A Closer Look At Italy

It’s been a long time since I’ve written but so much has happened in the meantime! The rest of our stay in Acquaviva was filled with amazing God times. People opened up as we walked around town and prayed for them as we felt led. Before I came here, I never would have thought that any country in Europe needed missionaries. During our prep we heard that Europe is becoming the new “dark continent” spiritually. Now that I’m here, I can attest that this is absolutely 100% true. Just walking around, there is a spiritually heaviness that you can almost taste... The big strong holds here in Milan are depression and loneliness. In a city of over 4.3 million people, that’s kind of hard to believe. But aloneness and loneliness are different things. Because of the spiritual darkness and oppression there is a strong presence of loneliness, which does not need to have solitude to affect a person.

I would especially like to ask for prayer support (continued after we leave), for the YWAMers who are here full time and the other missionaries here in the city. There is a couple (and their children) in particular, local Italians who did their DTS in England, who are standing alone with just two other staff and trying to do ministry in their entire region of the city. Four people, a city of 4.3 million people. And the true believers can be numbered on your hands. To say that Europe needs missionaries is an understatement; to say that Italy needs missionaries is a cry for a help. There is also a couple who have started a church nearby, the wife is Swiss and the husband was born in Spain to missionary parents from Michigan, and they are here raising their family in Italian schools and serving God. The great thing about these two couples is how much they support each other; two different missions organizations, working together for the common good of the Kingdom.

Even if you haven’t been praying for me, I ask that you pray for these two couples. My team is here to support them by manpower, extra prayer support, easing their ministerial burden temporarily, and forging the way in new ministries they want to be starting. We are here to help them as much as possible and encourage them in their work here. To be a missionary in Italy (and in many places in Europe as I understand it), you have to be willing to invest years. Unlike other places where you go in, build a house, teach a bit and see conversions, Italy takes years and years just to start a church. Luigi and Paola, the Italian couple, have grown up here in Milan and been serving God here for years. Keith and Debbie, the Spanish-born and Swiss couple, have lived here for 5 years. Last year they were finally able to open their church. How many missionaries would get burned out and leave before then? God has gifted these people with His determination to see the Kingdom come on earth and the endurance to run the long race. So please, keep these people in your prayers. I promise you that prayers are very powerful.

On the train ride up here to Milan (7 and a half hours, by the way, and we got to see the entire Italian countryside from the sea to the mountains!), I was thinking over everything that God has been doing in my life. Last year around this time, I was still hopeless. A picture perfect rebel, I did everything I could to demonstrate how angry and hurt I was while at the same time pushing any help away. A few months later is when things started to change. But at this time I was still doing drugs, taking pills, and drinking. My attitude was “hell if I care” and my faith was universalism. Nothing mattered, all roads led to the same place, and there was no reason to try. Since YWAM has been involved in my life, hope has gradually returned. A passion has been stirred in me again and I actually use it. There’s growth and lessons learned in a safe environment. I think sometimes we forget how much we need a safe environment to properly heal. For me, I wouldn’t have been able to come as far as I have if I didn’t have that guarding. And still, it’s difficult for me to trust and open up. But the fact is, I try.

I try. How simple is that? Yet last year, there was no energy in me. Half the time when people talked to me, I didn’t even care. It took so much effort to even listen to them and half way through the conversation, I wanted to scream that I didn’t care. When I went to Belize, God started pushing my buttons. God started convicting me of apathy. And since coming to San Francisco, I want to do everything possible to change. If there’s a lesson, I want to learn it. If there’s an opportunity, I want to take it! And I’ve finally learned how to receive correction. I actually welcome it. Instead of being independent as we’re taught to be in Western society, I’m interdependent on God and the community He’s led me to. When I was depressed, I often felt guilty that I wanted just anybody to share everything with but had nobody that I thought I could trust. After all, I’m supposed to be growing into an adult and learning independence right? However since coming to DTS, I’ve learned not only how unbiblical independence is but also how unhealthy it is! And I love the new knowledge.

One last thing, an important lesson (as a former rebel) that I’ve been learning here in Italy is surrender and trust with leadership. I’ve never trusted government (always corrupt, right?) or any kind of leadership, so at first I was bucking at every turn. But there was God, that quite familiar voice in my head that was nudging me to release control. And I’ve experienced how true freedom feels. Not anarchic freedom, but the freedom that comes from a peaceful trust and faith in leadership. And I thank God for the awesome leaders that I have here who have helped make this possible!

Jason, Justine, Bre, Joelle, and Ikaika: you guys are the best!