First Week in Italia!

I’m in Italy! This past week has been a whirlwind of experiences. We left San Francisco at 10 in the morning last Sunday and arrived in Italy around 8 pm Tuesday; about 30 hours of traveling (allowing for time changes). The city we’re in right now is Acquaviva delle Fonti, which means Fountain of the Living Water. We’re working with a local church here and staying in the houses of church members who have graciously given up their homes for us. Italy is not like the movies in most respects, but it reminds me a lot of Honduras. Except that it’s cleaner, more expensive, there’s less people walking, and it’s an ocean away from America...

Our first day here we did prayer walks throughout the city and became familiar with the area we’re in. We also tried to get over jetlag and not fall asleep during the day! On Tuesday and Thursday nights they have church, as well as Sunday, and the people of the church are very welcoming here. The congregation size is under 50 and everybody knows each other well. The real excitement began on Wednesday as we evangelized in the local market by passing out flyers for the church, talking with the sellers in their stands, and passing out balloons to children that passed by. I was also dressed up as a clown (a step of faith for me since I hate clowns because they creep me out)! It was a lot of fun as we engaged with the people around us, trying to speak broken Italian while they tried the little English or Spanish they knew, and everyone walked away smiling! Several venders even blessed us by giving us a free bag of oranges and other fruits as we walked along. One butcher gave us around 8 pounds of sausage! It was delicious :)

As the week has gone on, we’ve become accustomed here pretty well. After evangelizing in our town on Wednesday, we went to Bari (which is the capital of this province) and did the same thing there as we walked around. We tried to target young people because many are not really aware of Jesus, they are only aware of religion which they have been hurt by. We passed out many flyers and talked with a lot of people Thursday, and on Friday we went back to a park there and spent the morning passing out more balloons and talking with as many people as we could. After a while of sitting in the middle of the park, singing songs while a few of the Italians and my team members played guitar, we split up into groups and went around seeing who we could meet. The first group that the 2 Italian church members and I met was a group of 4 young men, college age, hanging out on the park bench. They were actually pretty interested in what we had to say and asked lots of questions as we stood there talking. I didn’t understand all of it so I just stood there praying as hard as I could while my friend talked with them. At the end, they sat there weighing what he said. Finally he asked them if they wanted change and wanted Jesus. And they said yes!

We meet some other really great people as we walked along, and it was encouraging that they were not turned off to us because some of us didn’t speak Italian but rather they tried harder to communicate. Since Spanish is so similar to Italian, a few of the church members who speak little or no English can still communicate with our group as I translate. There’s also a pastor from Mexico who is currently staying with the church here and he is always glad to speak in Spanish again! It’s been so awesome to know that I’m helping others as I translate, which I haven’t done in a long time and I’ve never done in these circumstances.

Church nights here are more of what I was used to back in Honduras. We have a much longer worship time, and everyone gets here early and stays late to talk and socialize. I missed this so much! On Thursday night we had a slightly different sermon though. Because I was the one teaching it! I was extremely nervous and praying the whole time through worship that the Holy Spirit would replace the words that came out of my mouth with His own, because there was no way I had a clue what I was doing. When my leaders told me they prayed about who was teaching and I was clearly the first one, it was both exhilarating and terrifying. I’ve never taught or even thought of teaching before. But early the morning before my leaders told me, I had had a dream where strangely I was teaching. It was a lesson on the disciples and church in Acts, and all the points were laid out in my mind as I saw myself saying them! It was kind of odd and I remember as I was dreaming, I was aware I was dreaming so I started praying and just asked God if sometime in the future I could give that lesson. I was thinking Stateside. But after my leaders told me that dream came to mind again and I knew I was supposed to give that same sermon I had dreamed the next night.

My teaching was perhaps the craziest thing I’ve ever done. Because I’ve never had anything like it happen to me! But I had confirmation from God, and my leaders agreed I should do it, so I did. And even as I feel my actual teaching wasn’t as good as the dream version, everyone said it was amazing. The Holy Spirit came through, as God always does. :) One church member even came up to me afterwards and said that was exactly the message that the church needed to hear and thanked me for giving it. I was dumbstruck because I had no idea what this church needed; I gave the message after only 3 days in the country! But again, I can only attribute it to God. Already I know I will love my experience here in Italy. We will stay in Bari until the 28^th and then we go to Milano. I’m excited to see what else God will do during our time here!

A Time For Everything

“There is a time for everything under the sun...”

That line is from my favorite Old Testament passage. I actually had never read it until one morning in Lectio Divino when we studied it and God really spoke a lot to me through it. Now as my time studying here in San Francisco comes to a close, I’m reminded of it. Being a pretty popular saying I heard it a lot growing up, but the new meaning it has now is that it gives me a peace: a peace when I’m uncertain, a peace when I’m lonely, a peace when I’m worried, and a peace when I’m panicking. There are many changes in life and many that I have gone through. When I reflect on my life I wonder that my brain can hold all my memories in. Sometimes it can’t and the memories come flooding into my thoughts and that’s a day spent mainly in silence.

Right now my room is almost stripped and my bags are packed. I still have a coat hanging in the closet but for the most part, there is nothing much to look at anymore. Tomorrow we fly to Italy. We will have a 10 hour flight, a 2 hour layover in Amsterdam and a total of 30 hours of traveling. We arrive in Italy at 8 pm Tuesday night, Italian time. It’s hard for me to believe that it is already time for Outreach. I still feel like I should be learning much more before I’m ready for ministry. But then, there is a time for everything under the sun. So I’m confident that this is God’s timing. Especially since He has supported me and enabled me to receive all the funds to take this trip. Many times it’s hard to remember just how much God has led me and been faithful in the past. My teacher from this last week put it this way: we always notice the bad things first but it takes a while to sit down and sort through them to discover the gems that are the good things.

These past 3 months have been good things. In fact they have been amazing things! I could honestly break out into a cheesy rendition of “I Left My Heart In San Francisco”! Because it’s true; through this city God has taught me to soften my heart to injustice, to see it with fresh eyes and not just as something that happens in this world and is acceptable. I’ve grown up with a lot of this stuff. Comparatively, the people on the streets around me are very rich! They aren’t starving to death. They do rather well. But they are trapped in their addictions, trapped in their cultural barriers, trapped in their broken world, and lost. For the first month I was here, it was all normal to me. There was nothing new about walking down the street and getting hackled, cat called, and told I looked d*mned fine. The only difference being it was said in English, mainly. Walking past the people sitting on the ground, stupid with drugs or alcohol and unaware of the cold or those standing on the street corners with cups held out was all normal to me. There are more here and there is more blatant drug use than I’ve seen in a while, but it just didn’t faze me.

And then I prayed. I prayed for God to break my heart over what broke His. I prayed that He would show me these people through His eyes and let me feel what He feels when I see them. The result is that this neighborhood has opened my heart. So often I found myself tearing up at the mention of the atrocities going on. And I was astounded! The reason is that I don’t cry very much. And when I do, it never lasts long. So to feel myself on the edge of tears day in and day out is a new experience for me. Whether that’s a good thing or not, I can’t say. But it is exhausting. If Lecture Phase taught me anything, it’s that my journey has only begun. I have many, many more roads to travel and lessons to learn in life. But I’ve begun to have a history, and a good one at that! My spiritual heritage is getting richer and richer. So now I’m stepping onto the new road of Italy. And I’m so excited to see what God will do! I will be very busy so updates may switch to once a month, but please be praying for me. Prayer is powerful and I could sure use a lot of it! I'll leave you with this:

"Allow your brokenness to be an opportunity for intimacy with God; not an opportunity for someone to disappoint you. If you think the right kind of people will fill voids and heal wounds, you will miss out on appreciating them and discovering why they are part of your story. I'm broken, you're broken-- we all are. But we're broken for a purpose."

Guilt and Faith

Faith.

Even though that’s only a 5-letter word, it’s powerful. And it makes a lot of us a bit apprehensive! I know it used to make me that way and in some respects it still does. Now here’s the part where I get really honest. I don’t write to sound profound and I don’t post this to glorify me in any way. If you’ve read my past posts, then you’ll know that I really don’t have it all figured out! Quite the opposite, as each day passes I’m realizing how little I truly know.

For a long time now I’ve struggled with guilt. It’s one thing for a Christian to say that we’re forgiven and it’s another to live a life that says we truly believe that. Personally I find it very easy to point the finger at people who are happy Christians. I mean really, it’s like the “Clown Effect” or something. When you see a clown you know it’s unnatural for somebody to be THAT happy. (And they’re slightly very creepy.) Well when I used to see happy Christians I thought one of two things. Either a) they are faking it and they are really miserable like the rest of us, or b) they don’t realize what Jesus really did for them and they don’t feel enough gratitude. Because I always felt unworthy of the cross and it doesn’t make logical sense to me. It still doesn’t! Why on earth would God ever allow His Son to die for me? I should be the one that was up on that cross! If I were on the cross from the moment I was born to the second I died, it still wouldn’t be enough to get me into heaven. And wow... For other people they can realize that it’s not enough and be joyful that God paid that cost for them. They can thank Jesus and then live the life He’s granted them (whether they really thank Him in their hearts is not for me to judge). But for me I just kept putting myself up on that cross.

And I told myself it was because I didn’t think I was worthy of the cross. In our society it’s very easy to cuddle ourselves. It’s easy to say, oh well you had bad things happen to you... Oh well you have a right to feel that way because of what happened to you... No. You don’t. Not if you’re a follower of Jesus you don’t! I think that’s what He meant when He said lay down your life, pick up your cross, and follow Me. Lay down that “right” that we think we have to get married, to have a decent job, to live in a nice house, to be happy, etc and follow Him. This sounds like a terrible idea! Last night I struggled with this. I knew it was coming because our teacher had all day to pound the point home. And even then I sat there listening to the worship music, talking with one of my leaders, and refusing to let go of my unbelief and pride.

Yes, unbelief and pride. In our circles of Christian life, those are almost dirty words. If you’re a Believer, why are you saying that you have unbelief in your heart? You’re a believer! But I did. My guilt was unbelief that the cross really meant what God said it does. My drive to work and prove my worth was pride that said I could be as great a servant as Jesus. And let me just say, that is tiring! I didn’t want to dig into the reasons of why I still felt guilty and why I didn’t believe God’s promise for me and it made me miserable. It’s just like Psalm 32 says, “When I kept silent, my bones became brittle from my groaning all day long. For day and night Your hand was heavy on me; my strength was drained as in the summer’s heat. Then I acknowledged my sin to You and did not conceal my iniquity. I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,’ and You took away the guilt of my sin.” Throughout each day I would notice that I would just get exhausted so quickly, it was like I had no stamina and I had just run a 10 mile race! I felt like I had spent all day pouring concrete and all I did was avoid God.

And then this morning when I woke up in the middle of a panic attack that was not an encouraging way to start the day, I had to lay there in bed and pray before I could even move. Everything in me wanted to stay in bed and cower under my warm blankets. Everything in me said to just go back and doubt God again. But then this thing called perseverance came into play. My mind told my heart to give in because experience told me it was useless, but my heart stubbornly refused (because being stubborn IS something I’m good at!) and remembered that just 10 hours before I had chosen to believe God has something better for me. And you know what happened? I got up. I went through my day. Yeah I still kind of struggled. But I didn’t get through this day on my own. Far from it, I got through with only one set of footprints in the sand; Jesus’ as He carried me because I was too weak to walk.

My feet are shaky and not used to this new path. Eventually they will grow stronger and I will be able to stand. Then I will be able to walk. I may stumble but finally, I will be able to run! And the first place I want to run is right back into Jesus’ arms. And my faith tells me that He will sustain me and carry me. Even as I stumble, even as I wait on Him. No matter what happens. Even as I have a plane ticket to Italy that says I leave in less than two weeks and I don't have all my funds yet. My faith tells me God will not abandon me. I mean I didn't even have enough for Lecture Phase and God provided for that, so why would He stop now? He won't. Above all else, He is consistent!

It’s not what you go through; it’s what you do with it.

We had a week called ‘Plumb line’ and it can’t really be categorized. We looked deep into our souls and found the ugliest parts that we were terrified of and never wanted to see the light of the day... And then we confessed them in front of our fellow students and 5 staff leaders! Talk about terrifying.

Along with that, our speaker said something that I hope to make a motto during my whole life: Humility is a willingness to be known for who you are. How many of us are really known for who we are? The honest person, the dark secrets and the things that we think isolate us from society. For many reasons I did not want this week to happen. For one, since I’ve already had so many moments of forgiving and letting go I convinced myself that I didn’t need any more of it and I would be okay now. I had worked on the really big, obvious things so I could serve God and the rest could be forgotten. Plus I still considered myself just a servant in God’s household. I wasn’t His daughter. I went to a service on Sunday afternoon with a ministry here called City Impact and the passage they talked about was the prodigal son. I’ve heard the story many times, but it had been a while since I heard it. As the man was preaching, he listed different stages that we could be in. We could be leaving with our inheritance, we could be staying to try and win our Father’s favor with work, we could be stranded in the far country, we could be journeying back, we could be walking up the road to our Father’s house or we could be getting that robe, ring, and sandals which symbolize that you are the son/daughter again.

I realized I was standing there in front of my Father and asking to return, yet refusing the robe/ring/sandals/daughterhood because I feel unworthy. I was standing there sobbing to be taken in by my Father yet unwilling to allow Him to hold me. In some ways, I still am. But I'm taking baby steps closer to Him and He is encouraging me every inch of the way!

Then this week, we learned about the cross and another point was brought up. There is nothing that Jesus did not die for. How often do we sing songs about Christ dying on the cross and all our sins being washed away and yet we still subconsciously (or even consciously) believe there are exception sins in us? Then again, maybe this is just me. (I rather doubt it though.) For many reasons, I believed I was the exception to God’s forgiveness. How could I fathom the extent He went to just to redeem me? How could I even begin to comprehend that He would never even dream of getting down off of that cross no matter how many times I do the same stupid thing? Can any of us ever truly understand how significant the cross is? It is the turning point of history; the up and up of humanity. Every time that I see a scene of the cross, no matter how great or bad the quality is, (it could even be on the stage with imaginary cross, nails, etc), I tear up. I can’t help it. I use to try to cover it up as façade that it didn’t affect me. But it does. And I’m no longer ashamed to say that. I sob to think of the pain my Lover had to endure because of the choices He knew I would make one day.

But it doesn’t end there. What a terrible story it would be if it did! We have such a hope in Christ. Hope. That word means a lot of things to me, mainly because for so many years in my depression and oppressive pain I was hopeless. I saw no joy in the world and my only hope was thinking maybe I could finally succeed in killing myself. I do not say this to get your pity, so please don’t take it that way. I remember the turning point for me recently was one night when I was really getting depressed. I was sitting in my favorite window seat, it was already dark, and my thoughts were as dark as the street the outside. Over and over in my mind I was contemplating all the ways I could relieve the despair I was feeling. I could cut, I could try to overdose somehow, or I could turn an oven on and stick my hand in.

These thoughts use to be my constant companions. I was listening to music and suddenly a worship song came on. It kind of annoyed me because I honestly didn’t want to think of Jesus at that moment. I didn’t want to try anymore, I was so tired. But it was like my fingers were lead and I just couldn’t make them move to skip the song. And then one word popped into my head. That “h” word: hope. There was a new voice battling the old familiar one in my head, and it said that I couldn’t give in because I knew the Relief now; the right Relief. After only a moment of hesitation, I jumped up and walked down to the basement where our sound system is. I plugged in my iPod and cranked up the volume until I wouldn’t have been able to hear myself speak out loud. And I let myself be overwhelmed with Light and Hope. This sounds like a rather romantic vision, but at the time I was in such strong turmoil... It’s true; I have the Light and Hope. However that does not make the fight any less real and the struggle any less challenging.

But ever since that night, when I’m struggling I know what I have to do and it’s not even second nature. It’s my first nature! Sometimes it’s hard when teams are using our basement for the weekend, or my back is hurting more than usual, but at least I’m trying now. I’m fighting. I don’t want to give up anymore, and even when I start to give in to those old familiar feelings, I have Someone who tells me: “Don’t worry, I have you.” And He is pretty great ♥

Mondays Are My Favorite Mornings

It’s been a while since I last wrote, and I put it off until now halfway on purpose. This past week has gone by quickly, as do all of the weeks since I’ve been here. Six weeks already! That seems impossible but the calendar agrees so I guess it’s true... I have definitely been growing a lot since I came here, and I only wish that it would never stop! (Wish granted; I have my whole life ahead of me. Haha)

This past week our topic was Cities and it was taught by the director of the base here. He used to live in India and pioneered the missionary work there as well as directing the YWAM base in Chennai, India. It was so cool to hear his stories and perspective as he calls India home and teaches us about the Tenderloin. He came here only 5 years ago and yet the vast history he already knows is astounding. He dove right into the neighborhood and spent his time making himself known and showing people that YWAM cares about the area. So as Uncle Tim taught us, he was using his real experience which was phenomenal. He also gave us a load of statistics on cities around the world regarding size, cultural variances and history. Although that may sound a bit dry, I loved it! I love studying things like this and I almost felt like this week was tailored to me. It was awesome!

It’s quite funny to see the staff urge students to come back and make San Francisco their own mission field in subtle ways... But for me, I’ve been praying about this a lot already. I laugh with the others when the many staff on base tell us “when you come back on staff...” but I also am seriously considering that move. We’ll see; I’m still very early on in my journey and I’m hesitant to say anything concrete. I’ll just keep praying!

Another thing that happened this past week is that the Fall DTS came back from their Outreach Phase in Cambodia and Vietnam. It was so cool to get to hear their stories and their advice as they had just gone through the school I’m in at the moment. As the week progressed along, I was reminded over and over how much YWAM is like a family. I’ve been in four different missions organizations in my 18 years, and YWAM definitely sticks out. The honest, humble way that they follow God’s will is inspiring to me as a student because I see our leadership still putting into practice what they are teaching us to do. There is such transparency here!

Probably my favorite morning of the week is actually Monday morning. Why? Because on Monday morning we have staff worship, and we recently opened up the staff worship to anyone from off the streets who wants to join in. So every Monday morning we gather in the Ellis Room (our drop-in center), starting out with all the staff and students, and begin worship. As the last song ends, I’m always surprised to see how many people have come in to join us. Maybe they’re just trying to get indoors, or they want a safe place to sit down, or they want to use our bathrooms. But we still welcome them.

Sometimes it’s hard to welcome people when they do only want to use the building and they don’t care about God. They come in and they swear and fall asleep as they rest inside in safety. And yet I can’t be angry... I simply can’t. How would I feel if I were on the streets? How grateful would I be to have a safe-haven like the Ellis Room to come to? And then I’m reminded of something that we talked about in church today: the least of these. “Whatever you do for the least of these, you do for Me.” We are called to love and care for our fellow humans, and I see no more practical way of doing than to invite them in on a cold day and give them a safe place to take a nap. Yes, after taking a nap they may go out and buy drugs. Should we throw them out because of that? I think not. Because we can’t expect the outside to change before the inside and to begin work on the inside we must first create an environment where the inside can surface in safety. The Ellis Room is that environment.

I have such a passion for this that I could write for ages on the subject, but I need to go to dinner so I’ll stop now and I’ll just leave you with this. Jesus commanded us to be examples of His love every day. For me, this means stopping on the street and talking to someone who I’d rather just walk by. What does it mean for you?

Another Step In The Right Direction

This week has been a lot easier than last week. Easier because it’s more in my passion and I’ve been waiting for this week since I got here. Our topic this week is Studying the Bible. A lot of it is looking back to the time and culture of when the book was written, who it was written to and what they were going through, and the original meanings of the words. Strangely I never would have said that my passion is the Bible before, but I’m beginning to realize I just love studying it. I love figuring out the context, digging into what the culture was around that time, and I want to know the Hebrew/Greek for every word! Because I’ve noticed how great my thirst is for this type of thing, I’m considering doing a School of Biblical Studies when I’m done with my Discipleship Training School. I also want to study Greek and Hebrew extensively. I’m still praying about this move, and I haven’t looked into locations for the SBS yet, but I’m trusting God to show me His will for this.

On another note, I want to go back briefly to the man I mentioned in my last blog: Ali. We discovered last week that he has a talent for rapping and I finally caught it on video! (Here's a short one: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10150593558998503) He’s got several Christian raps and a ton of other raps that he wrote when he was on the streets. He’s forgotten most of them because as he put it, he’s put that stuff away since he became a Christian. But he made sure to remember his Christian ones, and as he tells us another verse when he remembers one, I can’t stop from smiling. How God must look down and smile on this man! To come from where he’s come from and to be committed to God, leaving his old life behind completely and creating a new one in Christ. This is the stuff of movies... Yet there is a sad inadequacy in the movies on this subject. And not just in the movies, but also in our churches. I just think of how welcome everyone is here in the Ellis Room (drop-in center) and how the Because Justice Matters girls paint the nails of any “woman” who walks through the door just to show them someone cares. That is Jesus’ love.

Many times people have fried their brains and have mental problems, but they can find a friendly word and a safe game of pool in the Ellis Room. Many times women feel dirty and undervalued, but they can become a princess when they get their nails done here. And sometimes those women were once men. But they are not turned away. It’s radical, and I know it’s challenging for those who work in this ministry on base, but Jesus was also radical. How can I explain how rejected these people are? Just imagine them wherever you normal drive by or walk by, and then imagine people driving/walking by just the same as they always do. Not even blinking an eye in their direction. It’s appalling and it breaks my heart. We are all God’s children, no matter what mistakes we’ve made in the past and what we’ll do in the future. Why do we so often think we’re better than the person on the sidewalk simply because we have more? More is not better. Quantity is not quality: God considers our quality equal to theirs.

Last week during Outreach Prep we did a personality test so we could know who we are as a team and work towards becoming a better family. It was no surprise to me that I am an introvert. I believe if I hadn’t been a missionary kid, I would have been even more of an introvert but the responsibility of initiating conversation and ministry fell on me whether I liked it or not. Thankfully I don’t resent stepping out anymore. I actually look forward to it a little! It’s still a big struggle and I’m nervous before each step, but I’m learning to do things anyway. And to recognize when I don’t do them so that I can repent and do them the next opportunity I get. To say I’ve grown while being here is an understatement and I find this atmosphere to be so encouraging and challenging that I never want to leave! I’m praying about where God will take me after this, but let’s just say I have a few hints and it makes me giddy with excitement and anticipation...

May God reveal Himself to you daily!

Challenges

This week has been extremely challenging. If I thought last week was hard, then this week is a centimeter away from impossible! Last week was a walk in the park compared to it. We’re on week #3 now which is Spiritual Warfare (last week was the Character and Nature of God). I assumed that “spiritual warfare” meant explaining demons and ghosts and crap like that. But far from it! Our speaker actually told us the first lecture that there were three parts to spiritual warfare: the mind, sins influence of an ungodly society, and weird stuff. She also told us the main one we would focus on was the mind, and we would only look at “weird stuff” on the last day as a kind of side note so that we sort of know what it looks like. Basically, “weird stuff” isn’t the most important.

So yesterday we had a group session where we let go of things that we hid deep inside of ourselves. We had a 10 minute prayer session before to give us time to search our hearts and let God show us what we needed to surrender. But as soon as our speaker, Dawn, told us what we were doing I knew immediately what I needed to say... And I was terrified. As we went away to pray, I wrestled with God and argued and rebelled. Basically I refused to say that one thing. I told God to show me something else, a smaller thing, and I’d happily say that. But He didn’t... He just kept bringing the same thing to mind. Luckily after I argued and fought with God back and forth all through the session, I was saved by the bell. We had to stop for lunch and this morning we got to pick it back up for those of us who didn’t go yesterday...

All day yesterday I was struggling with this. Even during the session, I felt panicky and wanted to run away because it’s too scary to think of letting this go. Last night I came down to the basement and just blasted music and wrestled with God for over an hour. I wanted to smash my iPod for how clearly He was manipulating the songs that were playing... I’d pray that I couldn’t do it; Reliant K would come on with “never underestimate my Jesus.” I’d pray that I needed strength and I didn’t believe God would hold me up; Rojo came on with “no me soltaras” (Matt Redman, You Never Let Go in English.) I finally gave up... Sort of. At least I was able to share in group without completely falling apart today. Vulnerability is something that I’ve had to learn and it hasn’t been easy. I’ve always prided myself on my strength and independence; it’s very hard letting go of those two defining aspects. But the knowledge that I’ve had this whole day, just that I don’t have to cling to that old belief and be bitter, it’s so liberating! That’s the best word I can think of.

I feel at once regenerated and extremely drained by the struggle this week has been. Last week I wrestled with what I believe that’s from the Bible and that’s from the church. This week it’s been what I believe about myself and a little what I believe about others. Mostly what I believe about myself. But! I’m learning not to listen to the lies I’ve believed for so long and I’m really excited to keep growing throughout my DTS. Today was also a ministry day. For the 3 months that we’re here in San Fran, we’re assigned a ministry here at the base. There’s End Loneliness, Because Justice Matters, and the Ellis Room/Tenderloin Team. I’m on the Ellis Room/Tenderloin Team. I absolutely love my ministry too! Especially Wednesdays because we get to sit in on a Bible study led by a graduate of the 360 program.

His name is Ali. He used to do drugs, live on the streets, and was basically a stereotypical Tenderloin bum. But the 360 program is all about turning lives around, and he’s a great example. I never had any inclination towards homeless ministry or drug recovery programs, or anything even remotely related. But by stretching myself through this ministry opportunity, I’ve grown so much already. It’s amazing to watch these men share about their lives, God, and their victories. And it gives me hope. If I could capture that amazing joy that comes from hearing them recount their past life and how far they’ve come, I’d do it in a heartbeat and send it to everyone I know. But all I can do is write this and try to impress on ya’ll how amazing it is!

I tried writing this entry at least 3 times before, and I finally got it out this time. It’s a little long, but we’ll just say it’s for 2 weeks since I didn’t write last week. I hope ya’ll didn’t get tired reading this and were encouraged by it!