What John Wayne Has To Do With Treasure

I don't see wealth as having to do with money. It's not fancy cars, big houses, the newest iPad/iPhone/iPod. It's not gadgets that do everything including think for us. This is what wealth is to me. Having a roof over my head. A bed to sleep in. Friends kind enough to take me into their home and treat me as their daughter. To have clothes to keep me warm as the days grow colder. And blankets to snuggle in as the thunder rolls outside tonight... Wealth is having so much more than I need, and much less than I could want. My wants could reach to heaven and above, but they are empty and they hold no value. My needs, are the simple things I've already mentioned. In this world, even in our day and age, it is a privilege to have a room to myself, a bed, clothes, a coat, shoes, and running water. A privilege, a blessing, and a responsibility! I have a responsibility to not be caught up in my own world of comfort, and to remember those who don't have what I've been blessed with. Whether it's down the road or on the other side of the globe.

“For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” Think about that... What is your heart? Your heart is something so precious God sent His own Son to die for it... Though we may reject Him and spit in His face, He was willing to try. To win our hearts. Where is your treasure? Where you spend the majority of your time and money? Truthfully, I spend most of my time on my laptop. And if asked I know I would say, but oh it's for school! Or, I've got to apply for this, or research that, or this is so important to my life! And sure... Maybe it is... But why do I become so defensive? Why do I so quickly try to list all the reasons why it's okay? Because I know that it's not as it should be. I'm not saying it's wrong to do school, or apply for school or scholarships or jobs. All those things are important! But when you spend your whole life doing them... What good do they do? Tell me one thing in your life that has made a difference and made your heart sing. I'm almost 100% certain it wasn't in any of the things we spend so much time doing. It's a rare moment. What should be a series, is a holiday special. One week one summer, a few years ago. When was it? Where was it? Was it close to home or far away? Where is your treasure?

I've given up worrying about wealth in the worldly way. Or I should say, I'm giving it up. Because like all things, it's a daily surrender and not a quick “press here to cleanse your soul.” It's work. If it wasn't, why would we need our time here on earth? Growing up, I thought I had the world. My dad worked hard from sun-up to sun-down. He came home tired and wore out, but we had a house. We had food. We had clothes, even if they were hand-me-downs sometimes. Sure, I can remember seeing commercials for those special toys or places and I'd think, oh! That's for people who live down the road in those new bigger houses! But I didn't think we were poor. I just thought there were 7 of us, and since we had so many we didn't get to have those things. And we weren't poor. We had 2 cars, we had a house, my dad owned his business, we had pets and did 4-H, we even got cable! I can remember that happening because it was special. We got it to so we could watch the Dallas Stars games no matter what channel it came on.

I don't say all this to mean that I'm perfect, or I don't worry about money. Because I do. I worry about it a lot. I'm unemployed, I'm still working on a driver's license (being out of the country slows that process down), and I'm trying to make it in this world. But what gives me hope is to remember all the times I've seen McLintock. Yeah, I mean the John Wayne movie! In it there's a scene when Becky goes out to her father (John Wayne) and he tells why he's only leaving her a little bit of land and not his whole fortune (which was a lot). He said it was because there was something special about going through hardships, particularly when you're a young married couple, and he wouldn't rob her of that experience for all the jewels in the crown. So quite honestly, I'm looking forward to these rough times. I'm expecting hardships and I'm excited to be tested and challenged. Of course I'll be going on my own for now, but that's something I'm okay with. I need to learn how to depend solely on God for my strength and security. Especially with my past of depression and self harm, I need to stand on my own and find my value in the only true Savior. So my wealth, isn't in my bank account. I consider how small it is, and I decline outings with friends because of that. But I bare no ill-will. Because it's just a phase. Money is just a phase. It's a means to an end. And as long as I have a roof, food, clothes, and the Lord, I don't need any more money. What would I do with it? Probably spend it foolishly. So when I start to work, I want it all to go for my trip. I don't need any of it now, I have everything I need. And I know that God will provide for my trip also. Though I doubt and waver, and have to remind myself over and over every day that He is faithful, I trust Him to lead me and prepare the way. Whichever way it is. Whether it's to YWAM in January, or some other unknown trek I've yet to discover.

My wealth is in Him.

Prayer, Unicorns, Praise, and some other stuff

“Rejoice in hope, be patient in affliction, be persistent in prayer.” Romans 12:12

Maybe this is just me, but I always kinda blew prayer off. I mean, I would hear the “pray ceaselessly” and I'd think, 'alright well that's easy! I'll just redirection my thoughts to God.' And I'd proceed to talk God's ear off, and never stop to talk a breath. My mind was always working, I was always thinking and “talking” to God, but I didn't stop to listen to what He had to say. But I had the petition part of prayer down perfectly! It's interesting that people often say I'm a good listener, yet I never had time to listen to God...

“Now to Him who is able to do above and beyond all that we ask or think- according to the power that works in you- to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever.” Ephesians 3:20-21

When I was reading that verse yesterday, the words that stuck out to me were “above and beyond” and “to all generations.” God is capable. No seriously, God is capable. God could make a unicorn! Not only could He make a unicorn in Jesus' time, He could make a unicorn in 2011 too. If He wanted to. (By the way God, I wouldn't mind a unicorn...) My point is, He has no limits. There's nothing He can't do. Yet we pray for big things and don't surrender them. We ask for His help and then we snatch the problem back. It's like we're walking up with a broken toy, He has the super glue, and we ask Him to fix it but as soon as He reaches for it, we grab it back and run away. And then complain that He didn't fix it yet... But oh, we'll grumble and lament how much this is growing our faith and we're sure God will work in His own time, yada yada. Yes. God will work in His own time. But did we really even give Him that time? He can't work with what we haven't given Him. We have to surrender first.

“For the mindset of the flesh is death, but the mindset of the Spirit is life and peace.” Romans 8:6

So, this one was interesting. Because we pretend this life is so important. And it is, to some extent. But there's a certain balance we have to obtain. This life only goes so far, today only lasts so long, and tomorrow doesn't hold the answer. The answer is not in the world. The answer is in the Word. Because the mindset of flesh is death. We run our lives like it's a marathon, filling up the time with activities and routine, just waiting for retirement. Just waiting for that porch and swing. As if that were the goal! And then everyone who gets to that point turns back and tells us to enjoy our life, take joy in the little things, and don't let time fly by. So what do we do? We turn around and stuff our lives with even MORE activities. Quick, let's do this while we can, and hurry! Take a picture! There, now we can remember we took 2 seconds to stop moving and take that picture. Yippee.

“Youths may faint and grow weary, and young men stumble and fall, but those who trust in the Lord will renew their strength.” Isaiah 40:30-31

This verse gives me hope. Because honestly, I may be young but I'm out of shape. And I'm clumsy. So if I rely on my own strength, it doesn't get me far. Sure, my pride makes me try it anyway. And sometimes I succeed. But more often than not I fall flat on my face. But looking at examples other than yours truly, like the Olympic athletes, that I can understand. Those people are training constantly, they live for the competition. And God has more reliability than they do. Let's face it, if Olympic athletes can't beat God's strength, then we need to admit that we can't either. Macho or not, prideful or not. We can't. We are weak. But in our weakness, His strength shines through. My back may make me a lot weaker than other people, it may give me certain handicaps that others don't have. But when we look to God, we're all the same and He is still Superman flying in to save us. That is why He is amazing. Because He doesn't wait for us to say, 'Ok now it's your turn, I went this far....' No, sometimes He just bursts through the door, lifts the weight we were struggling with, and then turns around to hand us the gold medal. How cool is that?!

“I heard every creature in heaven, on earth, under the earth, on the sea, and everything in them say: Blessing and honor and glory and dominion to the One seated on the throne, and to the Lamb, forever and ever!” Revelation 5:13

This is my last verse because it's awesome. How many times do we stop at a sunset, or a pretty flower, or the ocean, or a billowy cloudy day, just to think: “Wow. God did good today.” I'm 99.9% sure that if flowers had heads, they would be beating them against the ground. Because every day, every second, our eyes see something wonderful that God made. And yet we don't thank Him for it, or praise His handiwork. How much do we praise the talented artists, singers, painters, scientists, etc of our day? We spend years studying them! We spend year studying the information they gave us! But God has created every atom, and we don't stop to think about it except maybe every now and then when it catches our eye. It should catch our eye every second. Look at your hands. Study them! The veins beneath the skin, the bones, the joints, their touch, your fingertips, the lines and muscles in them. It's pretty amazing to think the same God who created those hands also loves us enough to give us taste buds, sunsets, flowers, feelings, intelligence, and unique character traits. He formed your hands. Every hair on your head. Every toe, His fingerprints on your toes. He molded your arms! And made sure your nose was just right...

My last note is just this, all of these verses are from a devo I was given called Jesus Calling. And it challenges you each day to listen to God every day. No distractions, no multitasking, no doing it on the go. Just sit. And listen. Talk some, listen some, praise some, maybe cry some. It's been tough for me at times, because I'm a huge multitask-er and my mind is always thinking of the billions of things I could be doing in a spare moment. But once you start taking an hour, every day, to just sit still and be in uninterrupted community with the One who calls you beloved, it's hard to miss a day. You begin to rely on that private time, and an hour is no longer enough. So I challenge everyone, just try it this weekend. Tomorrow and Sunday (church doesn't count as your Sunday hour), just read a few verses. Dwell on them, turn them over in your mind, empathize different words in them, and then sit and listen.

It's amazing what you might hear.

Greater Things Are Yet To Come

But my life is worth nothing unless I use it for doing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus-- the work of telling others the Good News about God's wonderful kindness and love. -Acts 20:24

I found this verse right before I sent out my first newsletter about YWAM. Since then, I've tried to make it my motto. Because to be honest, I've tried living my life every other way. I've tried living for myself. I've tried living for friends, boyfriends, and vague religious programs or goals. It doesn't work. And more than not working, it makes me miserable. Every time I take my eyes off of Jesus, things start to spiral out of control. Not that life isn't just as crazy with Jesus, but it's a matter of perspective. It's like when you're spinning on a merry-go-round. I used to play on them all the time as a kid, and I loved them! When you're on one, you have two options. Either you stare off of it at the world flying by, getting dizzy and disoriented. Or you stare at the center, and you focus on that spot rather than focusing on all the other changing things.

It's like that with Jesus. This life is spinning around so fast, and we're just sitting there hanging on for dear life. Sometimes it goes so fast we lose our grip and fall off. But when you hold tight and look to Jesus, that doesn't happen nearly as often. Because He is the rock of our foundation. It truly is meant to be. We were created to be with Him, and to love Him. Out of loving Him, we find our purpose in fulfilling the plans He has for us. It usually takes me a while to figure out those plans. I mean, not only am I stubborn but I also am a dreamer. I see a leaf and my mind jumps to autumn, leaves falling, raking the leaves, this one vacation in North Carolina where me and my two older siblings raked the leaves and jumped in. I'll remember all my green autumn and winters spent in the Caribbean. Maybe I'll think how beautiful the different colors are, how amazing the webbing, and how intricate the design. It's amazing to me to think through all the little things. God is everywhere.

So if God is everywhere, on this merry-go-round life and in the little leaves falling daily, then doesn't it make sense that He is in our plans? I personally love dreaming up new plans. Slight possibility I might go somewhere new? Awesome! I start imagining what may happen there the minute I find out. But where the dreams meet reality is when those musings start happening. And what's really cool is remembering old dreams that are now coming true. I love that feeling. It suddenly feels like dejah vu, and then you realize it's because you've been longing for this for so long! What's greater is taking a moment to think about it, and then realizing that God waited for just the right moment to allow it to happen.

All the ways that God surprises us, all the ways we hold tight or let go, all the times we witness our dreams. It's in those little moments that big things happen. Waiting in line at the airport, staring out the window on a long car ride. Or walking under the stars. I did that last night. It was such a gorgeous night! The moon was shinning like day, the night was crisp and clear. And I was walking just thinking, “How many nights did I look up in longing at all the clouds in Honduras? Trying to settle for the small glimpses of sky between clouds? My soul nearly bursting just to see the full sky again... And now here I am. This is it. That beautiful sky I yearned for for so long.” I stood in awe under that night sky. And as I walked, a song came to me. It's come over the past few months at random times. We would sing it at Bible study in Siguatepeque, I sang it on a prayer walk in San Pedro, Belize, and I sang it last night. To me, it was an answer to prayer to be singing it. I don't know where it came from, but I could feel God all around me in the cold night air. And it brought me peace to walk along that road, under the open sky, my heart nearly bursting as I sang. That's my quiet moment with God. That's when I know I'm close to Him, and He's walking beside me faithfully.

“Greater things are yet to come, greater things are still to be done in this city”